Why You Sabotage Your Health Goals + How To Avoid It
#SugarBalancedLiving
Are you secretly and unintentionally self-sabotaging your health goals, like losing weight, reducing your sugar intake, exercising more often, or eating cleanly? Let’s deep dive into the reasons for this sabotage + how to fix it!
Listen up - do any of these sound familiar: “I’ve exercised today, so I deserve a sweet bowl of ice cream after dinner”, “I ate healthily at breakfast and lunch so I've earned macaroni and cheese for dinner”, “I’m stressed and tired, so I need to treat myself”, or “I’ve been healthy all week, so I can eat what I want on the weekend”.
Yep, these are classic signs of you self-sabotaging your health efforts.
You know that wrenching feeling of fullness and regret after giving into cravings, when you initially had the best of plans for your day.
Self-sabotage is something that can happen intentionally, but most of the time happens subconsciously - like a running belief in the back of your mind that quickly and quietly manifests things that get in the way of your dreams, achievements, or even worse health and well-being.
For example, you might say:
“My weight has crept up on me, I feel exhausted, achy, suffer from breakouts and blemishes, and finally want to take charge of what I eat and lose weight. I’m going to do this.”
But, in the back of your mind, that old tape manifests in the background telling you that:
“I can’t do this, every time I try I fail, it's impossible,” or, “I have kids, a job and a partner, I don’t have the time or even deserve to focus on me.”
These are a type of limiting beliefs that destroy goals and result in self-defeating behavior and self-sabotage.
The good news is: you can stop self-sabotage.
You can change this, and you are not alone. So many people around the world with healthy goals of trying to reach a healthy weight size, achieve better well being, break free from food and sugar addiction or start living their healthiest life suffer from similar patterns like this every day, and I can relate to this Groundhog Day cycle. I used to be that person who would say ‘why can’t I just keep the weight off?’, ‘Why can’t I just take charge of my diet and nutrition?’.
I know this pain personally, which means I also know how this self-sabotaging behavior can create anxiety and fears - leaving you feeling hopeless and crushed.
By allowing fear and doubt to form into excuses, all we’re doing is creating more and more doubt, fear, anxiety, and excuses, preventing ourselves from achieving the successful results we dream of and improving our overall physical wellness, increasing longevity, and decreasing health problems.
A lot of us may read diet books, scroll wellness websites, read influencer Instagram posts and feel as if that’s all we need to do - only to find we can’t seem to apply it to our actual life. This feeds into that narrative of self questioning and doubt - “how come she or he can do that?”, “only celebrities can do that” or “wellness seems to only be achieved on Instagram”.
Sometimes the ONE thing standing in your way of healthful success isn’t the diet, but actually you.
What I always find myself reminding people of is that there’s a very large gap between finding what to do and actually implementing it. Success, or a lack of success, all comes down to the most powerful tool you have: your MIND – your mindset, habits, and psychology.
No special diet will fully help you deal with the ‘how or why’ you gained weight in the first place, why you couldn’t stop eating, felt endless cravings, and couldn’t put your health over junk food.
No ‘miracle diet’ can fix that emotional, stress, or anxiety induced connection you have to eat certain foods and it certainly can’t reverse compulsive and habitual eating.
What I'm trying to say here is that a special diet won’t help you dive deep into the very root of why you can’t stop eating negative junky foods or overeating.
So we’re gonna help you get to the very center of the issue(s) blocking you from making your health a priority. I want you to know, that just by being here, reading this blog post, you’re kicking off your journey to stopping self-sabotage.
I’m now going to help you recognize self-sabotaging habits in yourself, get to the bottom of why you might be doing them, and help you figure out how to overcome them.
We’ll create a plan of action and begin to move forward successfully with our health goals!
What Is Self-Sabotage Syndrome? The Reasons for Self-Sabotage!
We all have a decent understanding of and even use the term self-sabotage, but to truly dive deep into how to avoid and overcome it, we first need to know exactly what it means.
Psychologically speaking, sabotaging one's self is said to be ‘the behavior, thought or feeling of deliberately or unconsciously attempting to create problems that interfere with goals, relationships, or even daily life’.
The most common forms of sabotage in terms of health goals are self-sabotage and assisted sabotage.
One simple form of self-sabotage that we can all relate to is the ‘can’ cycle.
You start off your health goals with a positive attitude of “I can”, until after some time, this positivity and self-belief starts to fade into “I can’t.”
One major factor behind self-sabotage, as you’ve probably guessed by now, is your "inner critical voice.
These critical inner voices begin to form starting from early life experiences. We then internalize this behavior and take it away as something we should think about ourselves.
Most frequently, these critical negative voices come from the attitude of our parents or primary caretakers. During our childhood, we’ll gather negative attitudes that parents may not even have towards their children but perhaps have towards themselves. We follow by our parents’ example and begin to see those same issues in ourselves. Our inner voices are then compounded from interactions with friends, siblings, or influential adults like teachers, grandparents, or coaches.
Thoughts that may occur in relation to self-sabotage may sound a lot like – being scared of change (I comfortable where I am), failing (why try, when it won’t work), stress (I need food to help me relax), lack of self-worth (I’m not worthy of feeling my best), willpower (I can’t), or motivation (I’m too tired or this) and a very common fear of missing out on so called fun from food and alcohol (everyone is having fun eating pizza, how about me?).
Do You Suffer from Self-Sabotage? 7 Signs You’re Self-Sabotaging Your Diet or Healthy Goals
Now with a clear understanding of what self-sabotage is, I think its time to take a deep dive into our mindset and discover the common reasons why self-sabotage tends to linger in our lives, and how we can tackle it.
I’m going to guide your process of taking back control over your destructive thought process, helping you identify and become conscious of when you fall into negative mindset shifts and critical inner voice. You have to become conscious of your inner voice, that way you can stop it in its tracks before it does anything to sabotage you and instead take actions that in your best favor.
Read carefully and note whether any of these scenarios and mindsets sound like you.
Healthy Diet Self-Sabotage #1: You’re Scared of Success
While the fear of success phobia may seem strange to many; it is actually a very real and very common… but why would you be scared of success if this is what you dream of.
If you’re successful, unrealized fears could start to arise.
For example, once you lose weight or don’t feel the need to turn to junk foods all the time, you’ll be freeing yourself from food addictive shackles, but you’ll also be losing a safety blanket that protects you from taking action on rewarding yet intimidating actions, or a comforter/escape for when times get tough - basically comfort eating.
Instead of turning to a pint of ice cream when dealing with uncomfortable situations, you’ll finally have to deal with stress, regret, or disappointment, that you’ve been suppressing with food.
Maybe you’ll lose the “once I lose the weight I will finally…” safety blanket that protects you from taking action on an intimidating (but ultimately rewarding) prospect.
Feelings of guilt and resistance to making changes is a very real psychological roadblock.
So remember this: nothing can’t be overcome.
Now is the time to get to the root of deep down struggles and make some serious breakthroughs. Don’t be afraid of elevating your happiness and letting go of suppressed darkness. When we chronically repress emotions (like we do very often with binge eating), we create toxicity in our body… together we can let go of it
Solution:
Dance, jump, run, move, and unleash your wounds – feel and accept your suppressed emotions in their true form – write them down. From there you can move on to addressing them. Identifying is always the first step.
Healthy Diet Self-Sabotage #2: You Tell Yourself Tomorrow Will Be DIFFERENT
I always tell my clients this not to follow the Monday cycle.
Don’t tell yourself tomorrow or Monday will be different. Instead, do something different right now!
We tell ourselves this with a hope that something will change eventually as if something a little while from now will magically shift our negative mindset and habits with food or exercise.
But, as you’ve probably realized by now, habit shifts, mindset resets, and self-control isn’t something that happens - it develops after hard graft and persistence. It’s rarely gifted.
Solution:
Stop telling yourself tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow you're not going to magically find time to go to the gym, make that tough shift of eating a healthy dinner, and skip those endless snacks at the desk. Don’t fall into that trap of thinking you’ll make great future choices—and excuse your present actions. Instead commit to the now. To doing in the present, to positively embracing your life.
Healthy Diet Self-Sabotage #3: I’ve Never Been Successful with My Health, So What's the Point of Trying NOW?
You’re in the mindset of – what makes this time any different from the last time? After trying diet after diet, it can seem like you’re destined to fail and like it’s impossible to maintain your diet or health goals.
You can break this vicious cycle when you STOP focusing too much on achieving weight loss, perfect fitness routines, or stopping all negative eating habits FAST. Simply start by focusing on building healthy eating and exercise habits.
Solution:
Lasting health happens when you turn unhealthy habits into healthy habits. Don’t try to force it. Incorporate little things over time and you’ll be surprised how fast these small changes can turn into habits and eventually adding more and more positive changes over time.
And… try checking in with someone you love or trust at a regular time each day or week, to report back on your progress. Don’t be embarrassed by slip-ups - it’s a HUGE sign of strength to share and work on areas of improvement. This will help you stay on track and reach goals.
Healthy Diet Self-Sabotage #4: Food Is Your Emotional Crutch
I’ve noticed and experienced with a very large proportion of people who have had (including myself) or have food issues, that self-sabotaging behavior is common for those who are unable to effectively manage their emotions.
I refer to this behavior as emotional eating.
We lean on food then as a coping mechanism during experiencing a life event, using it to both soothe and distract from the emotions, providing a temporary or short-term feeling of satisfaction. I’ve kind of mentioned this earlier, but I wanted to take a closer look at this issue with you as it is such a big and common struggle.
It’s in our very psyche to associate food with an emotion.
That’s why when we feel ourselves in a strong positive or negative emotional state, we tend to crave high-calorie, processed, and high-sugar foods - and some people may turn to binge eating. Others may start grazing behavior - where you constantly eat throughout the day or night. Basically what I’m saying here is that wellness self-sabotage is a coping mechanism when confronted with challenging situations, even the smallest of daily life hassles.
Solution:
To overcome this, you need to practice and prepare to delay what you ‘think you want’ in any one moment - like cookies or pizza - for what you actually want - a healthy and abundant life. When you get that desire to eat, stop, pause, take a moment, and ask yourself the following:
Am I eating this to numb how I’m feeling?
If I eat this will I truly enjoy it, or will I feel hollow?
Will I feel better after eating this?
Is this what my body needs?
Do I want or need this?
Will I feel shame or guilt after eating this?
If you believe that you will feel deep-down nourished, satisfied, and grateful then you’re good to go.
However, you’re in the early stages of tackling your emotional eating so you may not quite authentically understand yourself yet
The second part to this is to begin journaling and keep a food diary for at least 7 days, writing down what you eat and how you felt at the time. Keeping a journal allows you to see your patterns. As you go back through what you’ve written, you’ll notice certain things keep coming up.
Identify those behaviors, and what is triggering you to reach into the refrigerator or the pantry and to start mindlessly eating. Then you can start the work of healing those emotions.
This is why identifying all your stressors in your life, particularly unhealthy lifestyle patterns and behaviors, and then focusing on shedding your mind of conscious and sub-conscious negative habits, attitudes, and patterns triggering it, is such a huge part of The Stress Reset Course© because it’s SO IMPORTANT for clearing them for good.
To help you in the short term you can nab my free 21-day stress cleanse calendar to get you started: CLICK HERE TO GET THE CALENDAR
Healthy Diet Self-Sabotage #5: Lack Of Self-Worth
When you suffer from a lack of self-esteem, self-confidence, self-pride, self-worth, and/or self-belief, thoughts about the way you see yourself and how you feel about your abilities purposely undermine your health efforts.
Many times, a deep-down part of you figures that your lack of self-control and power to achieve control over what you eat and forming healthy eating and physical habits, is “getting what you deserved”. You feel like you’re not good enough and like you deserve those negative patterns. You tell yourself living in an unhealthy state is punishment for all the bad food and health choices you’ve made.
This is where it’s very important to recognize limiting beliefs and process your thoughts.
The messages you give yourself through not just your unconscious, but also your conscious self-talk have a very strong ability to affect your behaviors and results. Constantly reinforcing the idea that “you’re fat and lazy!” or “you’re useless and ugly!” will end in you fully believing it.
Solution:
If you have subconscious and unconscious beliefs blocking your progress, affirmations like: “I am willing to release weight now” and “I deserve perfect wellness now” should help neutralize them.
When you reassure yourself with positive thoughts, you strengthen your mind's connection to the actions and confidence to succeed.
If you struggle with deep emotional pains and feel like affirmations may not be enough to dislodge deeply rooted problems, it may best to resolve them through professional self-growth work.
Healthy Diet Self-Sabotage #6: Food FOMO
Another reason for self-sabotage may be because you have a conscious or unconscious fear of being deprived or missing out.
If you've ever had anxiety about what food to eat at a party, been pleased with your healthy pick before seeing the delicious-looking junk food your friends are eating at dinner, or eaten as much as you could while worrying about when you could eat that food again, you've experienced food FOMO.
And this my friend is sabotage! Because what do you do when you feel like you’ll miss out? Indulge.
In this modern world we live in, there is a constant stream of visuals showing us vast amounts of foods and drinks, advertised as life changingly delicious, things that will bring you joy and happiness, that we can find everywhere from supermarkets to even office kitchens - so we’re compelled to partake.
But, we all know deep down that these foods and drinks advertised aren’t the only way to celebrate or bring us joy. All these cakes, burgers, and drinks will do is hit us with sugar and refined carbs and cause negative effects (like weight gain, acne, hormone imbalance, even pre-diabetes, etc) on not just our body’s health, but also our mental health.
Unfortunately, what I've described is a very, very common mindset and a dilemma that so many men and women who ‘work to focus on wellness’ struggle with constantly!
Solution:
If you struggle with food FOMO, I have a whole blog post covering everything you need to know about it and the proven steps to help stop that food anxiety and improve your relationship with what you eat: How to Stop Food FOMO (fear of missing out)!
By utilizing my strategies for controlling and avoiding food anxiety, you should hopefully be ready to crush your ‘food FOMO’ and start heading forward onto a journey of food freedom, where you can remain in complete control around food and drinks people around you are eating and instead enjoy with complete liberation the good healthy choices you pick.
Self-Sabotage: Rounding It Up
Well, you’ve made it. By now you should feel a whole heap better knowing that you have the tools to identify and conquer destructive thoughts, because getting started with a healthy action is only half the battle.
Today, we will get out of our comfort zone, and breakout of destructive but predictable habits.
We love the idea of STRIVE but not actually succeed – especially in fitness, wellness and health – because we fear the unknown. We get stuck in repetitive cycles of negative behaviors because we can’t face or identify a situation honestly.
But the thing is, you have the power to understand your subconscious (it’s you!) and the unknown is only developing into a healthier and more improved, stronger, happier version of you.
If you fail, you’re not inadequate (don’t let your subconscious tell you that) - you’re simply on a journey where stumbles are lessons, scars are strength, as long as you keep chugging along and believe you are wonderful because believe me you are.
The truth is, there is a very large margin of error between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Mindset, psychology, and habits need your attention, more than anything.
Regardless of what is causing your self-sabotage, if you do not stop it, you will continue to live an unhealthy and even unfulfilled life. You deserve to be living your best life
And now, if you’re ready to kick off your life without self-sabotaging behaviors chaining you down and start living the life you want – healthy, happy, and ready to achieve come and grab your FREE Clear Yourself Of Self Sabotaging Behaviors: Worksheet (PDF).
Yes, this free worksheet will provide you with the process to dig deep and release yourself from self-sabotaging behaviors. Clearing away sources of self-sabotage and readying your mindset for success!